Blackning Perfection
by EmbraceYourEmotions
Summary: They're so damaged, so in love that there's a physical pull in the chest of ever being not 'together' but can they survive life's madness, or their own?
1. Chapter 1

_''I love you,'' he says firmly._

_A tear slides down my face, and I pause to gather my wits before I'm flooded with them. ''I love you too.'' My voice is quiet and barely audible, I do love him, and I love him so much that it hurts._

_''Bye.''_

When the call is disconnected I throw my phone more hurt than frustrated. It skids across my bed and lands violently on floor below with a 'thud'. I cannot for the life of me care if I've done any damage to the stupid thing.

I'm unsure as to how long I lay there silently without a real thought in mind but when I do sit up and move it's to light a cigarette and take a long sip from my Jack Daniels bottle.

This is what I'd resorted to. How I cope without him.

When I'm putting my cigarette butt out in the ashtray stashed in my bedside table I pick my neglected phone off the carpet to look at the time.

Undamaged and glaring brightly in the darkness around me it reads quarter to ten. Charlie would be deep asleep by now. With the thought in mind I throw my boots on, grab a blanket and head downstairs to slip out the back door undetected.

Being the Chief of Police didn't give my father any hint on how to watch over his teenage daughter that was for sure, but it certainly was in my advantage.

It's cool out but the skies are clear of threatening rainfall for once as I hike out to my meadow.

The walk is soothing, and dulls the twitch in my hands that are itching to type out a message to say something-anything, that is the truth on how I feel right now. I shouldn't, it'd cause a meaningless argument that presented me to be a weak, clingy girl that couldn't accept anything that wasn't in her favor.

I sigh because maybe that's true.

I set the blanket out on the grass and then lay down. When music fills my ears and my eye lids are softly shut, I breathe.

* * *

Monday mornings at Forks High School are always dull.

Mrs Cope eyes me warily while I fill out what I consider to part of my routine, my late slip.

She's probably in her late forties and been working here before I was born and while not many students nor staff gave her the time of the day, I liked her. I liked how she wore her greying ginger hair out in its bouncy curls and how it clashed with her bright purple shirt because Mrs Cope didn't seem to give a flying fuck of what others thought.

''Are you doing okay, dear?''

I hum. ''I'm alright, just didn't get enough sleep last night.''

_Well, none at all. For the past three days._

I don't thinks she believes me but nods anyways and wishes me a good day and then I'm then making my way to History.

It's not till the period before lunch that things get remotely interesting. Rosalie Hale, my best friend leans towards me in English with crazy smile.

''Guess who tried to make moves on Jasper at Lauren's last Saturday?''

I snort unattractively because who isn't trying to make a move on Mr Whitlock, our blonde haired blue eyed boy of this washed up town.

''Enlighten me,'' I mock, still doodling in my notebook.

''Alice Brandon,'' she says with a ring, then is watching my reaction.

I can't help it, I giggle a little, my mind picturing the freshman that's barley reaching 5'4 at a party trying to get _his_ attention. ''Who spiked her drink? Or better yet who invited her in the first place?''

The bell rings signalling lunch, after packing our stuff away and while heading to the cafeteria Rose continues to fill me in.

''Jacob did, they're cousins or some bullshit, but I don't think he was impressed when he found her vomiting in his girlfriend's garden. '' Rose chuckles not exactly warm hearted. ''What an idiot.''

I shrug with half a smile. ''If I see her, I'll be sure to remind her.''

She nudges my arm. ''If she needs any, I mean-''

My phone vibrates and the rest of her sentence goes ignored while I open the new text message.

_E- See you tonight._

My eyebrows narrow. 'Oh really' I think spitefully, 'because that suits you, doesn't it'. I want to tell him to fuck himself and not to bother but my heart clenches.

I type back a simple 'okay' in return instead. _We wouldn't even talk more if I said those things anyway, so caught up in himself._

''Bella? Are you alright?'' Rose calls, her icy blue eyes clouded with worry.

I shift my eyes back to hers. ''Yeah yeah, just...'' gesturing to my phone I scowl, ''stupid shit.''

''Jasper wants us to meet him at the river this afternoon for a toke.''

Hearing this, I look around. ''Where is that punk anyways?''

''Probably in PA stalking Maria's ass again,'' she says, sighing.

''Well tell him to get his ass to school and get a fucking education.''

Rose grins at my bitchiness. 'Come home with me after school and we'll get that biology assessment covered first?''

I groan, because of course I'd forgotten about. Dam Mr Banner. ''Yeah, alright.''

Just then, Emmett, her man sits down with us and then is kissing my best friend passionately- having a front row seat to the show, I see some tongue and wondering hands and I cringe and tell them to get a room.

They just laugh, obviously amused by my disgust at there over the top PDA acts.

It's also at that moment that one of the wondering hands knock over a carton of chocolate milk all over the table top and all over my school bag, soaking instantly through, I watch _this _with wide eyes.

.

.

.

Monday's weren't dull, they were filled with my hate.


	2. Chapter 2

I was like a wild kitten that you'd reach out to hesitantly to touch.

''You've gotta be kidding me,'' I'm muttering while glaring at the offender.

Em, on the other hand resembles the saying 'deer in headlights' ''Shit, bells, I'm sorry!''

I close my eyes and rub my temple gently .'So'kay, just, ah…''

I'm aware of my bag being taken off the table and carted away, I'm aware that my phone's ringing and _ringing_ in my bra and that Rose's hand rests on shoulder and she's telling me to 'chill the fuck out'.

I would, Rose, I really would but it's so nosy in here that's it's causing a raging headache and _maybe_ those three days of no sleep are finally getting to me.

When I finally get a grip on my surrounds I stand and open my eyes, blinking to adjust to the dim lighting and bodies everywhere, I head outside with Rose trailing behind me.

''Bella,'' she says firmly when I come to a halt. ''What the hell is going on with you?''

I open my mouth to speak but my phone is ringing, again. My girl is clearly frustrated but waves her hand in defeat and tells me to answer it.  
Ripping my phone out _Edward _ flashes on my screen, I put the mobile to my ear, answering the call.

''Hey, what's up?''

His voice fills my ears. ''Are you okay?''

I frown. ''Yeah, I'm fine. Why?''

''Are you sure?'' Edward says completely unconvinced. ''I have this... _feeling _that you're pissed at me.''

Trying not scoff I pause, glance at Rose, then speak. ''I'm not, I just miss you, so I'm indirectly pissed.''

His laugh brings a smile on my lips. ''Fair enough, baby. I miss you too, probably more than you miss me.''

I can feel myself slipping. In the small moments like this I lose my mind, the fight I put up, all my barriers. ''Liar! Do I get you in my bed tonight?''

''If you're lucky,'' he says coyly.

''Psh, whatever, but if I don't get you all night then I will have some not so nice things to say to you,'' I say, half serious-half playfully.

I can picture my boy now, he'd be running his fingers through his hair, cringing, and being like most men in the world, be having the thought-process of why us women say the things we do.

''Alright, we'll see.''

Rolling my eyes but still smiling I tell him that Rose is demanding my attention as I see her tapping the invisible watch on her wrist.

_Impatient bitch. God bless her._

Rose and I end up having a long talk, when Emmett comes out and gives me my bag (which is now milk free) before the start of last period I suggest we just go to the river now not seeing much point in sticking around.

I drop my car off at the house and Rose and I walk arm linked in arm like true best friends to the water. Jasper, who'd already made himself comfortable on the grass gets this goofy grin and his glazed eyes widen in mock surprise when he sees us.

''What took you ladies so long?!''

Rose answers. ''We try to stay in school, unlike you, dipshit!''

Like the true southern boy he is inside or maybe was in his past life, Jaz tell us we're missing out the true beauty of life with a drawl.

''Shut up and give me a joint before you spout your nonsense!'' I tease.

He pops the 'p'. ''Yes madam!''

So we all sit there, like the three musketeers getting high as kite and not caring about the world or anyone's opinion like teenagers should for the rest of the afternoon. We gossip, talk shit and mess around. In the end, Rose and Jaz are in an intense debate about what's better... fruit loops or coco-pops and I'm playing referee because someone has two with those freaking pea-brains.

As the sun sets and I'm pulling my coat closer to my skin we decide to pack up and head home, i think the decision was more based on everyone hunger, rather than the time and weather though.

I giggle.

The walk home seems longer than usual, my knee's are wobbly and my head is spinning like the washing machine and I dive onto the lounge when I finally step through the front door.

Thank god Charlie wasn't home.

A fit of giggles rises from me again, _oh man, __I'm so gone._

It doesn't take long for hunger to get the best of me so I'm pulling myself from the super comfy couch and dancing in the kitchen trying to find something to eat.

_And, Easymac it is with strawberry pop-tarts._

My stomach does a victory flip.

While that cooks I drag myself into the shower to get the stink off me and freshen up, I was in and out and then throwing on clean clothes and deciding to let my hair drip dry.

Racing back downstairs and into the kitchen I do a little fist-pump at hearing the microwave is beeping at me and seeing that the toaster has popped.

My mouth is watering.

After my mini feast I'm back on the sofa with a full stomach and droopy eye-lids. Sooner or later, because I had no concept of time, I drifted to sleep.

.

.

.

My eyes snap open to the sound of knocking on the door, my body is protesting as I pull myself up from my fetal position and go to open the front door. I'm so dizzy and my thoughts are a jumped mess as I stumble to fiddle with the doorknob.

When I get the door open I see him standing there so casually, and I'm quiet just taking his presence in.

''Hey, pretty-girl,'' Edward says smiling lazily.

Then his arms are wrapped around me and I'm tucked into his warm embrace, I still haven't uttered a word but he _gets _me when I just lean into him and hug him back tighter then ever.

In this very point in time, I'm just a girl madly in love.

* * *

**Thank you for the reviews and follows c:**

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
**


End file.
